rant

I admit I am overly sensitive, but there are some things people do that are honestly hurtful.  Especially when they’re your family.

My boyfriend thinks my family is greedy.  What’s sad is I think it too.  They expect him to pay for everything as though we’re married, and even so he shouldn’t have to be the sole provider since 1) he’s not made of gold and 2) he’s not a sugar daddy.  They contradict themselves because they always say that I need to be independent and I need to make my own money, but they turn around and say things like why doesn’t he pay for this or that or why doesn’t he give this or that.  I don’t know if their intentions are good or not and if they’re only looking out for me but dude freakin’ Vietnamese family, is it just mine or are all of them like that??  It’s seriously a mindfuck.

The latest occurrence was yesterday.  While I am grateful for my aunt & uncle who over the years have taken care of me also and welcomed me into their home(most of the time), the things they say and think affect me the most.  When i was little i used to think they were more like my parents and I always secretly wished they were but as I got older I picked up more things and understood things differently.  They can be generous people but you never really know with them.  I honestly believe they love me, but they will always look out for themselves first just like everyone else in my family except for my mom because she’s my mom and even though i’ve shown resentment towards her and we don’t always get along, i know that she’ll be the one who will be there for me ‘til the end.  So yesterday I told my aunt that my bf will write a check to her for $400 for my cousin and the extra 100 is a gift from my bf to my cousin for his high school grad. He’s receiving the money because we offered him 300 to take my bf’s online class to fulfill his grad requirement from UCI.  I wasn’t expecting her to jump for joy or get teary-eyed or something like that because 100 might not and probably isn’t a lot to them.  It’s a lot when they have to spend it but Im sure they dont consider it much when it’s given by someone else.  Her response was, “that’s it? i thought he was going to give him a motorcycle or something. or ipod, ipad, or laptop”.  First of all, a motorcycle really???  They went on and on about how they didn’t want my cousin to ride a motor because its dangerous and stuff.  They probably have no idea how much a decent bike costs.  Second, he already has an iPod that his gf gave him.  Third, he’s never asked for an ipad and i don’t think he even wants one because he would rather have the money, and it also costs half a grand.  And lastly, I think a laptop is something his parents should give to him instead.  Anyway,  I just really took offense at that.  I mean, a normal person would be like “oh tell him thank you for me” or “that’s nice of him” or even “that’s cool”.  My other cousin was there and she was like ” ‘that’s it’?? $100 is a lot”.  Well at least she understands and doesn’t think the same as her mom.  I really hope that my aunt was joking but i seriously don’t think she was.  It’s not a big deal because it’s not that much money anyway, but my bf is doing it as a nice gesture and no matter how little you think it is when someone does something like that you should still show some kind of gratitude or just say thanks to be polite.  Because to be honest, my bf is not obligated to do anything at all.  He doesn’t know my family that well and doesn’t spend time with them.  He just wanted to do it because I mentioned that my cousin is graduating hs and he knows that Im close or was close with my cousin and loves him like a brother.  I had told my bf before that 300 was a lot to pay him to take the class because my bf only offered his friend 200.  He insisted that my cousin do it because he’s family and he would rather pay my cousin instead.  The online class is Fundamentals of Music and it’s from OCC, not from UCI but my bf is able to use the credits to complete his requirements.  It’s an 8 week class, but I’ll count it as 7 since my cousin missed one week because he had to be at UCLA for a freshman welcoming thing.  He says it’s takes him a few hours to do the assignments each Thursday, so let’s just say it takes 4 hours.  1 day of the week for 7 weeks, for 4 hours.  I’ll round it to 30 hours, which means he’s getting paid $10/hour which is really good for minimal work.  It’s not a hard course, it just takes time and my bf doesn’t have time.  I didn’t want to take the class for him even though the money was appealing because I was having trouble with my own classes.  I love my cousins but sometimes the things their parents do and say are questionable.  I didn’t say anything to my aunt or anyone else about it but that’s me, i never tell people how i feel. i don’t like confrontation and since it’s family, it’s even harder because i don’t want drama between us.

im currently unemployed so whatever money i have is doing work for my bf’s business.  He gives me nice things but only for special occasions, so no he isn’t a big spender and he doesn’t think money grows on trees.  He works really hard for it and I get worked up and really defensive when my family makes comments and such when it involves him.