my heart hurts.

some may think I am overreacting or just exaggerating the situation, but if you really know me you would know how my hair is to me.

i can say my hair is the most important to me about my appearance. it might be just the only thing I like about myself…and now it’s ruined.

yeah yeah it’s not the end of the world but imagine waking up in the morning and having to see your shiteous hair in the mirror when you wash your face or brush your teeth.  Even worse when you have giant mirrors on your closet doors.

i have to go back to school jan. 31.  I know this sounds lame but when i have a bad hair day, i REALLY have a bad day.  Like it’ll be all that I think about.  I wouldn’t even be able to focus.

by the way, my bangs are .5 inch ABOVE my eyebrows. Funny because i wanted it to fall below the eyebrows and just slightly brush my eyes.  Supposedly bangs will grow an inch in 2 months…it’ll feel like 2 years for me.  I can clip them and it wont look so bad because it doesnt show how short the bangs are but i dont really want to look lie a 7yr old everyday for several months.

i cried so much this morning. even more than yesterday.  i felt like i lost a loved one… maybe im just really weird. am i superficial? i dont care that much about other people’s hair. sure i have an opinion but its not like it ever bothers me as much as my own hair.

my bf bought me a wig because he can’t deal with all my crying and depression. i havent even eaten anything today and i probably wont because i have no appetite and still obsessing over my hair.  my aunt tells me to relax. she’s the stylist that cuts my hair. i don’t blame her, i blame myself for wanting to “try something different”.  I should’ve paid attention while she was cutting it so I could stop her if she was cutting too much or if i was uncomfortable with the short length. I think there’s a lesson to be learned here…

serves me right for being so vain.